This morning I told my college about my ongoing lack of motivation, which is unusual for me as I love my job.

In the morning I don’t want to get on that bike and come to work, when at work it is hard to be even minimally productive and at the end of the day I feel nothing but dread to get on my bike again and drive though that terrible outsideness. Her answer was that this does not surprise her at all; apparently it has been the darkest winter since documentation of the weather began. We had 10 sunlight hours in December and 17 in January so far. That is less than half of the previous darkest winter of all times (which was last year).

I have not seen the sun in days. Sometimes you can just make it out behind a thick layer of cloud but it is not actually “bright” and even though I force myself outside every single day it does not improve my state at all. As a result I do as little as possible which is also as much as I am able to do and bathe at least once a day.

Have a wonderful week