Lady Celery

weekly wyrdness

Endevours of a Wicked Witch

Please check out my new blog for which I invited my best friend in the world, the wicked witch, who I recently woke up from a five thousand year long sleep, to write about her experiences in the modern world.

“As life is absurd in its entirety I shall write ironically about it, whilst being completely serious. I give a voice to the darkest of urges within my soul.

 – The Wicked Witch –


Featured post


Nothing drives me. All I do is consume visually. Existing mostly hurts but sometimes I am too numb for that. I want to do another therapy. If I speak the truth will I be put away against my will? The laws to protect us prevent us from ever really opening up. I have spoken my truth when I was in the hospital, but somehow I doubt I was fully understood. The abyss in my mind transcends all words I know.

I am grown woman and I do not sleep in the dark alone. When I am alone, the night is my life. Why do I not sleep before sunrise? I am exhausted. The dark glues me to the screen. Or I will be outside.

Or cry. And cry.


When I was little, the world was gray. The world is still gray. Every day I look at my wrist and imagine the blood. Blood I enjoy. I was 2 when I first remember. The world was already gray. I was alone. Isolated. I imagined, no I planned, no, simulated in my mind. That I would stay up –  so late. My mom would be asleep. I would have to be so quiet. But she always sensed me. I would sneak into the kitchen and take the sharpest knife. Then crawl towards her bed. If she wakes up, where do I hide the knife? If I reach her unnoticed, am I strong enough to slit her throat? If I am, will granny wake before it is her turn? I knew I would not be put away forever, because I was too young. But I knew if she was there I would have to live with her and I preferred my mom, while I was ready to rid myself of her forever.

The world is still gray. Blood I enjoy.

The Squirrel Diet

The squirrel diet – the hottest trend from Hollywood

First there was vegetarianism, then veganism followed by clean eating, paleo diet, intermittent fasting and the warrior diet; please read now about the latest thing to get you in shape: Continue reading “The Squirrel Diet”

The Twilight Saga – Proof That Bella cheated on Edward

When I read the twilight saga I had a fresh baby that would only fall asleep when we were out and about in town and wake up immediately if I would go home. That left me stuck homeless for 2 hours a day. After a while I went to the book store for the first time after giving birth and discovered the first book. This seemed perfect for my mushy brain that was damaged from sleep deprivation as well as lack of nutrients from nursing non-stop. So I bought it and ended up reading all of the books in cafes while the little one had her nap. But here is the main thing that has always bothered me in the story: Continue reading “The Twilight Saga – Proof That Bella cheated on Edward”

Fasting Retreat for Aspiring Prophets // Found your OWN Religion

Are you an aspiring prophet just about to channel the word of God into writing? Or simply a devout person who wants to gain credebility as a holy man ? Than this might be just for you:
Continue reading “Fasting Retreat for Aspiring Prophets // Found your OWN Religion”

Some Musik

I only have a Youtube to be able to like my favourite content, however, if you would like to know my taste in musik please check out this link. I think this playlist says a lot about the opposite souls I carry.

Have a wonderful week:-)

How to Take a Relaxing Bath (for guys)

A little while ago I wrote How to take a relaxing bath – for girls, And ever since then the guys out there have been demanding one for them. So here it goes: Continue reading “How to Take a Relaxing Bath (for guys)”

Two Books That Changed My Life


Here I will introduce two books in the order in which I discovered them for myself. Both books caused big revelations in me and one of them was a great help in dealing with my major depression at that time. Continue reading “Two Books That Changed My Life”

I am a Pancake

I always thought of myself as a flexible, even sportive person. Then  some months ago I noticed that years of not really training have finally caught up with me and there are a lot of things that I cannot do anymore. Like going down into the bridge. Coming up from the bridge. Doing the splits. Grabing my hands behind my back. Yoe see where I am going. Continue reading “I am a Pancake”

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